Riley's Twisted Christmas 2006

A Twisted Christmas 2006
by
Lynn, Nigel, Jabba, Riley, Dallas, and Jade

Twisted Christmas Home / Christmas's Past | 2006 Outtakes

Sung to the tune of "We Three Kings"

We Three Dogs

We three dogs so tortured we are
Might as well be feathered and tarred
Even the cat is caught in the fray
For the end we will pray.

Refrain:
How can this happen, why oh why?
Were we bad and did we die?
Are we forsaken? Will we waken?
Just a nightmare, all a lie?

Found in a pound, rescued we thought
Going home, we’ll be loved a lot
Food and biscuits, lots of kisses
This is not the life we sought.

Refrain

Bound and wrapped in swaddling clothes
Tied so snug I can’t feel my toes
Struggle forever, escape never
Free my chains, release my woes.

Refrain

Despair is ours, for we are doomed;
Breathing life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, starving, dying
Cheese rewards are needed soon.

Refrain

Glorious now we can be free,
Unwrap the cat and we will flee.
Rush the photo taker right now
Bite her hard, smile with glee

2006 - Twisted Christmas Outtakes
(click on any photo for a higher resolution version)

Jade is always the comforter in these stressful situations. Riley does seem to be enjoying this a bit too much.	Worried Dallas is not so consolable.
This is one of my favorites, cropped from a larger shot. It appears as though Jabba is whispering all his woes to a very empathetic Dallas Dawg. Obviously, they're sharing a crisis.	Dallas has no enthusiasm as I use him to set up the photo shoot. (the brown background just didn't work).
At one point I tried to make the 3 kings kiss the "baby Jesus" by littering him with dog treats. In this photo the dogs are being good, but I had to intervene once the first treat was discovered. It appeared likely they might eat Jabba too! Unfortunately, I messed up with the flash and over-exposed some of the best shots.	Jabba is quite comfortable here. He likes his paws sticking out, but doesn't always stay put like he should.
Another over exposed shot. I do like the way Dallas's ears are poking out and Jabba looks like he's about to turn into the Incredible Hulk (click on the image to see it better).	Everyone is disgusted with the situation.

Photographer' notes:

This year was a masochistic event unrivaled since the time we tied Churchill into a basket for Easter and made all the dogs wear bunny ears.

The swaddling was accomplished by first dropping Jabba into a pillowcase, wrapping it tightly, securing it with a clothespin, then wrapping him with some leftover drapery lining. When I used to volunteer at PAWS, I'd watch the vets make "kitty burritos" after a cat was spayed or neutered. Jabba, was okay with this for a short while (and quite happy he wasn't being "fixed" again). However, after about 10 minutes, I think he may have begun to lose circulation to his brain. Note the catatonic look in his eyes.